The Secret to Happiness

Prior to my birthday all my Apple devices coincidentally got hacked and locked, but at least I got back into my phone without wiping it out. I probably jinxed it when I said I wanted to let 30 sink in before posting Birthday pictures 😂

On a somewhat serious note since this is just a blog post after all 😝– I took a leap of faith this year and stepped outside my comfort zone to embark on a journey of self discovery. A lesson I take from the solidarity is to create a life of gratitude and accepting where I am in life by making the most out of every day. This solemn week in Houston made for a bittersweet conclusion; sorrows and wounds are healed by the touch of compassion. I am grateful for every second of every day that I get to spend time with people I love and to live the life I love. Thank you from the bottom of my heart to my family and friends for never giving up on me! 30 doesn’t feel so bad after all.

Thank you for reading 💗, ter

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Joy – Enjoy the little things

I was at Prince of Peace this past weekend and the homily spoke of the Fruits of the Holy Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Generosity, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-control.

Father Keller asked if we ever asked God for any of these. The entire crowd paused and reflected — questioning God. He interrupted to tell us that we all ALWAYS have each Fruit of the Holy Spirit in us, but we need to remind our selves to bring it out. He kindly asked us to participate in a simple exercise where we write down the Fruit that we are seeking most on a post-it note and to simply place it where we would routinely see it. These characteristics have always been in us but we go through things in life that make us feel ejected from them.
I was going through a sense of loneliness, scared of speaking of my depression and anxiety with my loved ones. I made a decision to explore the world this year and rediscover myself. Without pain, how could we know joy?
Thank you Father Keller for reminding me of the Fruits of the Holy Spirit. I wrote the words “Joy” on several post-it notes that night and placed them all around the house. It reminded me to smile and love the life I live: Your mind is a powerful thing. When you fill it with positive thoughts, your life will start to change. 
Thanks for reading, I hope you rediscover a Fruit of the Holy Spirit that had always been hiding in you. I am forever grateful for the simple reminder that my joyous spirit never left me.
 <3ter

Mental illness is not a choice

I start to feel accomplished and then it silently creeps up on me after several good days, weeks, or even months. Trauma triggers and I feel myself spiraling down again. Depression is living in a body that fights to survive, and a mind that wants to die. Anxiety isn’t something that goes away, but something you have to learn to control.

I am still learning to speak up more when I am sad and taking more care of myself. I have to remind myself that the bravest thing I ever did was continue my life when I wanted to die. I find my safe place to close my eyes to breathe and find strength to get up again tomorrow to start over. We all need to surround ourselves with people who remind us that we matter because the comeback is always stronger than the setback. Mental illness is not a choice, but recovery is. I accepted that I am depressed, but I’m not giving up.

Rants of a Bartender. NYE2014 Edition

So this big guy comes to my bar last night and repeatedly accused me of having his card. He stood there blocking the crowd and stared at me, “You have my card, you have my card!” while I was tending to other patrons. I repeatedly said “I don’t have it. Please check your pocket. Your wallet. Maybe you started a tab at another bar.” It felt like an ongoing western movie gun fight but with words.

He figured repeating himself over and over would magically make his card appear. I looked at him dead in the eyes for a split second, all while pouring lines of shots. “I don’t have your card. I am very careful and have a system that I use. Please check another bar. Trust me!” It was to the point that a promoter noticed my legendary awkward eyebrows (oh, you know what I’m talking about.) from afar and offered to buy him a round so that he would chill out. You would think that now he would walk to the other bars to check, but no. Like most moronic men, he was stubborn and thought he could scare little ole me. It’s a NYE party, I am not going to leave my amazing bar guest (who all had a good laugh at this situation) to go on my knees and look for it. I’m sorry, I am not one of those sloppy drunk bartenders; I always have my shit together and do my best to make money for the team and most importantly I always try to ensure that everyone has a smile on their face and is having a good time (especially it being NYE). The promoter (thanks Pax) took it in his own hands to offer to go with the gentleman to the other bar.

Low and behold! He came back, card in hand, and looked at me. A little embarrassed, but it happens all the time so I wasn’t upset and just smiled and said, “See?” In my little world of rainbows and unicorns, I expected somewhat of an apology. Oh no, he just proceeded to order a round for his friends. Cool, whatever, not everyone is as considerate. So I made the drinks. He paid the $38 and left $1 tip. Hey, $1 is a $1 right? Wrong. I have too much self respect for myself to accept anything from an arrogant human being. I grabbed the dollar and handed it back to him and said, “I refuse to accept anything from any impertinent coward. Happy New Years and use it towards a cab. *smiles real big* and screamed NEXT!!” Asshole. I could have stooped down to his level of stupidity and spray Diet Coke in his face¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But I handled it like a woman should.

A big, I mean BIG, fucking (sorry) cheers to all my industry friends for working hard this NYE 💗 Just remember that there are a lot of people who appreciate you all dearly.

Happy New Years to my family and friends 💗 thanks for a great start to 2014 😉 Now to make it through work this morning 😔😂

Have a nice day!
Ter

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(Joe and Me last night)