I Heard Somebody Define Heaven Once

It’s been a little over a year, but I was still so hesitant to visit you today. The sadness I felt looking down into the dirt where you laid to rest, doesn’t even compare to the pain I saw in your eyes during the last of your days. You filled an emptiness I didn’t even know I had until I laid by your tiny little grave wishing I could still hug you and thank you for curing my soul.

If there are no dogs in heaven, then when I die I want to go where they go — until I see your cute button nose again, you and Puppy need to watch over me and the family. Thank you MaggieBear for teaching me that love is unconditional ūüíĒ

A lesson Maggie taught me about life:
If you love something, love it completely, cherish it, say it, but most importantly, show it. 

Life is finite and fragile, and just because something is there for one day, it might not be the next. Never take that for granted. 

Say what you need to say, and say a little more. Say too much. Show too much. Love too much. Everything is temporary but love. Love outlives us all.



To the man who has everything

July 13, 2016

I stopped at Big Lots to grab breath mints for the restaurant and a store employee stopped me amidst my shopping trip to randomly ask, “Are cookies or cakes better for you?” Before I could conjure up the words to ask why, she added, “I’m a diabetic.” OK, now why on earth would I even suggest anything processed, sugary, or sweet after hearing that; despite myself being a customer in her store? “My boss said I could pick one out for my birthday today.” My heart sank… I told her it was also my father’s birthday and showed her silly snapchat photos I took with him and Ethan at midnight. I grabbed a $20 gift card to the restaurant from my backpack and invited her down the street after her shift for a few goodies prepared by the chefs. I learned that she takes the city bus and was¬†oblivious to anything in the area other than her workplace (I’m guilty of that too!) So I wrote my phone number on the back of the gift card and asked her to call me after work if she decides the venture out. She was beyond thrilled and hid my card in her pocket, “My shift is over around 5!! I’ll find my way there!!” A little skeptical since learning in my retail career about making connections with customers (which a lot of times lead to conversations beyond the point of sale lol), I reserved a table for her anyways. I got a call close to 6pm and it was an excited lady, “I’m on my way!!”

I never heard anything after as I was catching up on paperwork, so I stepped out into the dining room only to see Ms. Angela happily settled in all by herself at the table I had set aside for her. She had already ordered the simplest menu item from my server – ready to celebrate her 49th birthday with the $20 gift card…all by herself, and all smiles. I walked over and couldn’t even reintroduce myself or welcome her in… she had jumped up out of her seat to hug me. My entire staff read her emotions and without question helped execute an unforgettable dinner together. I respectfully asked to join as a guest to her table, thankfully she agreed (hehe), sat down with a bottle of red wine to share, food enough to feed a family, but best part of the dinner was able to hear and be inspired by¬†her story. That’s how my Dad taught me growing up, to never judge or have prejudice, yet listen and learn about one another. Everyone felt Ms. Angela’s radiant energy that evening, from my serving staff to guests stopping by the table to wish her a Happy Birthday after realizing the beautiful moment from across the dining room. She embraced every second, thanking the entire team for every meticulous detail every chance she could, and thanking God with tears building up as she spoke to her daughter from Chicago on the phone. I couldn’t have been more proud of my team, and their rebuttal was actually wanting to thank Ms. Angela for inspiring happiness for all the little things in life.. They even payed for an Uber ride home instead of letting her take the bus!

It was God’s gift to have my family celebrate my Dad’s birthday at the restaurant this very same night. It’s been hard to be present at family dinners or even special occasion and holidays ever since I started my career in the hospitality industry. You have to commit in serving guests, endure long unrecognized hours, all while creating memorable experiences despite the unappreciated efforts. After seeing my family eat and enjoy themselves before my very eyes, it took all of me to not cry for all the guilt I felt for not being around as often like I should.

I was so excited to introduce my Dad to Ms. Angela, but she hugged him before I knew it, “You should be proud of your daughter, I just met her today and it was God’s blessing that I was even acknowledged by a complete stranger and treated like a queen without a crown on my birthday. I’m all alone here. I wish my kids were closer. She made me remember that I didn’t need to be surrounded to feel loved, I felt loved by complete strangers today.”¬†

Today also helped reissure it was my best decision to move back to Houston two years ago. I entered my twenties lost in a new world trying to prove my independence, with countless failures but I picked myself up each time craving that euphoric feeling of self worth.¬†I remember walking across the stage to grab my art degree, smiling as I envisioned my quirky family cheering for me from across the stadium. Good things never last forever, even if it looked perfect on the outside. My mom was unable to travel far and I was always imagining my family’s presence to keep me from depression and missing home so much. I realized every accomplishment, dream, and aspiration wouldn’t amount to anything if I couldn’t share my happiness with my family and true friends.¬†I always had relentless love and support from them and am forever grateful. I only wish to pay it forward for the rest of my life to serve others. Happy Birthday Dad, to the man who has everything.¬†Every random act of kindness is dedicated to you. I just want to make you proud.¬†I wanted to blog this moment so I could look back, inspire, and thank God for sending me a complete stranger to remind me what life’s all about.

Thanks for reading‚̧ -Ter

The purpose of life is a life of purpose.

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The terrifying innate fear of figuring out self purpose soon incorporated itself into my life-long battle with anxiety Рonly to leave me feeling more helpless, hopeless and powerless. I distracted myself by focusing on the things I had to do and got so caught up trying to exceed expectations to improve myself Рlater realizing; who was I really trying to win over? 

It wasn’t until I started focusing on setting my own expectations that I realized: who were important, what were my¬†priorities, and why it mattered. If you don’t love why you’re doing things or can’t explain why it’s important to you — then it’s not worth doing is it? It starts with finding reasons for what’s important and meaningful rather than investing¬†time with what I¬†felt I should be doing. What mattered was the choice I made for myself – to be a great daughter, sister, auntie, significant other, or mentor¬†at work. It all started with why.¬†We we’re all born to live not to merely exist.

The purpose of life is a life of purpose. Have a great day <3, ter.

Review: Almay Smartshade CC Cream

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Price: 10.99 (purchased at  CVS)
Pros: sheer coverage, light, easily available
Cons: dewy finish, my face felt extremely oily and I was horrified of breaking out afterwards, smell likes sunblock
Overall: I don’t want to recommend this to you girls because of how oily I felt and looked after using it. I didn’t use a setting powder…maybe thats why? This was my first time trying a CC cream so I am not sure if this is how CC creams are suppose to feel. CC stands for “color correcting” and are said to have benefits like improving skin texture, brightness, and reducing redness. Hopefully the next one I try will be betterūüė¶ Here are my thoughts:¬†At least I used my coupons and ECBs to purchase thisūüė¶

Hope this helps!‚̧ ter

Give Life a Meaning

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I struggled earlier in life to fight for happiness and stressed over the horrible things that could happen and it prevented me from enjoying all the good. After questioning myself, “what would happen if I wasn’t so afraid?”, I was able to discover an answer to my pursuit of happiness and wish to inspire you to do the same. To my lovely ladies: don’t lose sight of the future because it could be better than the present because you, my dearest, have the power to make life beautiful. Don’t give up and never¬†wait because life passes faster than you think‚̧

Love, Ter

If I ever let my head down, it will only be to admire my shoes.

I remember running around the house pretending to be a princess from teddy-land, sprinkling my glitter on all my bears so they can be happy and protect me from my big bad brother. My Dad routinely told me that I’m beautiful and my smile made him smile. He protected me from harm and focused on loving life, but at one point it wasn’t enough to combat the negativity from others. I was too fat or too skinny. My hair, outfit, makeup, was judged and depicted to every last drop. I was never enough.¬†Emotionally, I’ve let a relationship drain me by giving him power to steal my inner peace. I’ve felt alone and broken. I didn’t smile enough, constant anxiety, and spiraled downwards. I thought I hid my emotions well, but people saw it in my eyes. My smile didn’t give¬†Dad good spirits, instead concern. I stressed in proving myself to others that I lost myself by letting their opinions dictate my life.

The moment you decide to be yourself, your inner beauty will resonate. Instead of focusing on imperfections; focus on the bigger picture Рexperiencing life! I started to pick off every negative aspect that covered up who I once knew because I missed the girl who saw possibilities everywhere, that appreciated happiness when she gave to others, who never set limits and never gave up. Thanks to life awakening experiences and encouragement from a handful of people, I adjusted my sails. I replaced negative thoughts with positive ones, let go to toxic people, and restored my focus on inspiring others. Life is good and better than ever Рbecause I have the power to make it so.

To my lovely ladies: ignore anyone who tries to define you or give limitations in your life. Nothing holds you back more than your own insecurities. You’re beautiful so practice to love yourself more, and dream big through positivity. I’m here to inspire you, one red heel at a time ūüíó By the way, I want to mention that I whole heartedly enjoy responding to email messages from you all in Asia. It warms my heart to know that I can encourage and inspire someone across the world from me, and for that I thank you. You give my life a meaningūüôā

Love, Ter

Happy 2015

This past year has truly been a blessing for me; more than words can say. It was a rough beginning to 2014, but as the days went by I started to finally figure myself out…something I should have started ages ago. My life is starting to come together, because … “Once you let go of the wheel, you might find out where you truly belong.”

I’m at peace with life, and I still can’t believe it. I did it. I did it all by learning to love myself more.

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